The Last Resort
by TheTBone
Summary: "I talked her through everything and I made sure that she knew this was a last resort." Missing scene from The Morning After, when Stef gave Lexi the pill. Oneshot.


"I talked her through everything and I made sure that she knew this was a last resort." Missing scene from The Morning After, when Stef gave Lexi the pill.

**I own The Fosters about as much as Wyatt owns the beach house he took Callie to…**

"And this is a last resort, as I'm sure you are very well aware," Stef said, clutching the tiny object in her hand.

Lexi nodded because she did know. Did she ever.

"And you know what this does, yes?" she questioned with a raise of her eyebrows.

Lexi nodded again. She'd read up on it. Everything she could get her hands on while still keeping it a secret. Gone to the library, done hundreds of Google searches, double-checking that she'd cleared her Internet history every time, just in case her parents decided to do a spontaneous computer history check. Not that they ever would. As far as they were concerned, Lexi was a good girl who would never have gotten herself into a situation like this.

"Good," Stef nodded and crossed her arms. "And you know that this is a one-time thing. I don't want this ever happening again, is that clear?" Stef said firmly, but without any menace or threat to her tone.

Lexi nodded, though she couldn't say she was listening too closely to what Stef was saying. She couldn't take her eyes off of it.

It bobbed up and down in Stef's hand, and Lexi felt as if she were a dog following a treat with her eyes as it went up and down and up and down, the motion making Lexi even sicker and dizzier than she already felt.

"Okay then. I think I have covered everything," Stef said, clearing her throat. Lexi realized that this was probably just as awkward for Stef as it was for her. "Do you have any questions?"

Lexi shook her head.

"All right then," Stef lowered it onto the table, sliding it out of her palm and onto the flat surface.

It was smooth and blue and white, its shell a cylindrical capsule. And it would change her life. Or keep it the same. It was all in how you looked at it, she supposed.

And there it was. Out there in broad daylight. Just sitting on the counter, in plain view for anyone to see. Suddenly Lexi felt very exposed. Vulnerable. And she kind of wanted to cry. But not for her mother.

She just wanted it to go away. But she didn't know how she wanted to get rid of it. Should she swallow it before she could change her mind? Or push it off the table? Or throw it in the trash? In all honesty, she wished it would disappear on its own. Because then she wouldn't have a choice anymore. And Lexi was used to not having choices. And it was restrictive. But it was also comforting. Less options, less room for error. That is, if you followed the rules. And in this case, Lexi did not. She definitely did not.

"Can I just, um, can I have a second? To think?" Lexi asked with desperation. She was panicked. She suddenly felt very rushed, like every single pair of eyes in the world was staring at her even though Stef was the only other person in the room.

"Of course, love, of course." And Stef figured that maybe she should be a little harsher on Lexi. But then again, really why should she be?

First of all, she knew the poor girl got enough of that at home with her parents constantly breathing down her neck. And second of all, what would be the point? What good would a lecture do? The deed was already done. And when she looked at Lexi she didn't see some reckless, selfish girl who couldn't care less about anyone else. She saw a petrified child, terrified of doing and not doing, stuck in a lose-lose situation.

Lexi's insides were engaged in a fierce battle. Her mind and conscience and heart and soul all at war within her.

So before she could change her mind again, she let one of them win out, though she wasn't sure which one came out victorious.

And she grabbed the pill and tossed it back and snatched the water and drank it down until she felt the pill go down her throat so she'd never have to see it again.

Except, she did.

For not five seconds later, Lexi was simultaneously crushed with conflicting emotions of guilt and relief. And although the relief was great, the guilt was just as so, and she paid for it.

She knew where the bathroom was. She had been over to the Fosters' house many times before, first for Mariana and now for Jesus, although she wished she could come over for both of them. But figured she could settle for one if she had to. Although she couldn't settle for none at all. She would fall apart if it were not for her second family.

So she ran to the bathroom in the house that was really more a home than her own. And locked the door. And got on her knees. And as she knelt down she considered the irony of her position. Kneeling as if in a pew. Bowing her head into the toilet and disposing the contents of her stomach, which not only consisted of the sandwich and fruit she had for lunch, but also that little pill that held so much power over her. She couldn't make this decision, as her stomach had demonstrated only moments earlier. She was physically too weak to handle this. So she sat back and laid her head on the cabinet beside her.

She closed her eyes and tried to relax for a few seconds, to process everything that had happened in a matter of moments, until she heard the sound of a metal vibrating and tilted her head at an angle so that she could see the door handle wiggling.

"Lexi?" she heard Stef's voice, muffled through the wooden barrier between them. She knew she should open the door. She was being extremely rude by not opening the door. It was Stef's house, after all, and she had no right to keep her out of it. But the door made her feel safe and apart from the rest of the world and her problems. She contemplated how long she could stay in there before ending a foolish, childish game she shouldn't be playing.

"Lexi?" she asked again, this time her voice accompanied by two gentle knocks. "Are you okay?"

"I'm okay," Lexi reassured her. She was far from okay.

"Do you think you could open the door for me?"

Lexi took a deep breath and gritted her teeth, clamping her mouth together tightly just in case another wave of nausea hit her in the few milliseconds it took her to unlatch the door.

She managed to pull herself off the floor and unlock the door without tossing anymore of her cookies. She stepped back as Stef slowly pushed the door open. She seemed to be surveying the area. Her eyes widened as she laid eyes on the toilet, and Lexi could feel herself blushing with embarrassment. She had forgotten to flush after the little disagreement she had had with her digestive system.

"You threw up?" Stef asked, though she already knew the answer. What other explanation was there for what she was currently seeing?

"I meant to take care of that. I'm really sorry I-" Lexi started rambling.

"Why don't you go sit down on the couch, huh?" she suggested, lightly touching Lexi's shoulder in attempt to lead her into the living room.

"No, really it's fine. I'll clean the-"

"I'll take care of it, Lexi," Stef reassured her with a nod of her head.

"But-" she began to protest.

"Go," Stef said in a way that left no room for further argument, gesturing towards the living room.

Lexi nodded, unsure, reluctant to have Stef clean up her mess. It seemed she was doing a lot of that lately. First trying to help her clean up the figurative mess she was in, and now as a result having to tidy up a tangible one.

Lexi sunk into the familiar couch. She bit her lip as she heard the faint sounds of cleaning coming from the bathroom. Every spritz of disinfectant, every brush of bristles on porcelain, every opening and shutting of cabinet doors made her feel more and more guilty. Needless to say she was filled with both relief and trepidation when she heard the bathroom door close.

Lexi kept her head down so that she could avoid direct eye contact with Stef. She tried to ignore the sound of Stef's footsteps on the floor, closing the distance between them, instead keeping her eyes downcast and occupying her time boring holes into the floor.

She only looked up when she felt Stef effortlessly lift her chin with her left hand while simultaneously using her right hand to place a damp washcloth on her head. Stef continued to wordlessly hold the cool cloth to her forehead as she squinted her eyes, seemingly mulling over something.

"You look a little pale, but I'm going to assume it's just from stress. Here, keep holding this on your head," she said, relinquishing the cloth to Lexi's possession "How are you feeling, sweets?"

"Fine," Lexi managed to croak out, her throat still raw from her little vomiting fiasco.

"Yeah? Can I get you anything else? Tylenol, Advil, do you think you could hold some juice down?"

"Um, I'm not really sure," Lexi stuttered out. Here were the choices again. She was inexperienced in decision-making and so this entire encounter was proving challenging for her.

"All right," Stef said with the casualty of someone who was just asked if they wanted to go to the movies. Not someone who was with her son's possibly pregnant fifteen-year-old girlfriend who had just wasted a very expensive solution to a very serious problem all because she was a little nervous. "Well, let's just stick to water until you're confident you can keep something harder down."

Before Lexi could stop it, a single, humorless laugh escaped her lips.

"What?" Stef asked, wide-eyed and with honest confusion.

"Why are you being so nice to me?"

"What do you mean?"

"I screwed up," Lexi explained. "I ruined Jesus' life and destroyed the pill and you're still not only letting me be in your house but you're being nice to me."

"Okay, first of all, **you **didn't ruin anyone's life. This is just as much Jesus' fault as it is yours. And second of all, Lena and I love you. You're like a daughter to us. We're not going to abandon you because you made a mistake." She placed her hands on her hips and gave a chastising tip of her head. "You know better than that, love," Stef softly scolded, reassuring and reprimanding her alike.

Lexi looked at Stef for a moment, but quickly returned her glance to the floor. The pure sincerity in her eyes sent a stabbing feeling through Lexi's heart. She had disappointed someone who cared so much about her.

"You know you don't have to take the pill, Lexi. No one is going to force you to. This is your body we're talking about. It's your decision."

Lexi sighed. "I'm not very good at making those, as these past couple of days have demonstrated."

"Hey," Stef said sympathetically, taking a seat next to the younger girl. "Don't be so hard on yourself. No one's perfect. And sometimes learning things the hard way is just part of growing up."

Lexi bit her lip. She wasn't ready for all of this. She wasn't ready to determine all of these things on her own. She certainly wasn't ready to deal with the repercussions of them on her own.

"But you do know," Stef spoke, as if reading her mind, "that I, Lena, Jesus, all of us will stand by you in whatever choice you make. We will be here to support you in whatever you decide to do, and through whatever the consequences of the decision may be."

"But what if I do get pregnant? I can't be a mother at fifteen, where would I live? How would I make money or balance my time? My parents certainly wouldn't let me drop out of school and there's no way they would approve of Jesus and me living together this young."

"Well then we will figure something out," Stef said with firm confidence. "We will figure it out together. You're not alone, Lexi. I promise you, we are not going anywhere."

"I don't know what to do," Lexi admitted.

"I know," Stef commiserated.

Lexi took a deep breath, "and I'm scared," she whispered.

"I know," Stef repeated. They both sat their in silence for a few minutes as Lexi critically and carefully considered her options. Stef consoled the younger girl as she contemplated; gently rubbing her back as she patiently awaited a verdict.

Lexi opened her mouth to speak.

"I threw up the pill."

"I know. We can get another," Stef assured her, unfazed.

"I'll pay you back for it," Lexi promised.

"Lexi, please," Stef said, admonishingly holding up her hand, finding the fact that Lexi was so concerned with the financial aspect preposterous. She had enough to worry about.

Lexi took a few more moments to internally deliberate before proclaiming her decision.

"I want the pill," she announced.

"Are you absolutely sure?" Stef asked, giving her another chance to change her mind.

"Yes," she replied with self-assured certainty.

"Okay then," Stef nodded, standing up and grabbing her car keys. "Let's go get one. And what do you say we do it **legally** this time," she said, referring to the highly illicit exchange she had unfortunately witnessed involving Jesus.

"But that's not nearly as exciting," Lexi whined teasingly.

Stef gave her a mock-stern look. "Don't test me, my friend," she said, playfully cocking an eyebrow and pointing a finger at Lexi.

"Come on," Stef winked, sending Lexi an encouraging smile. "Let's go take care of this," she wrapped a supportive arm around her shoulders, walking her out to the car. "Together."

**I felt a little cheated that we didn't get to see the exchange between Stef and Lexi on the show, so I wrote my own version of what I think happened. Reviews would make my day! =)**

**Thank you to my fabulous beta justliziam! **


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